there is too much to tell you
to update before school
so maybe wen i get home from school, or tomorrow when im working
things are going down hill.
but such is life, huh
well, i will be updating massively later.
it will be amazing
and you all will love it. because i said so
so what to say
this has been an expected week.
yearbook is completely DONE. now im just getting rather annoyed with the ppl in the class(ok the seniors) and their lack of work.
yes yes i hate it.
my friend tony, from myspace, weve gotten closer. its kinda been amazing. i spent most of the day with him yesterday. im just not really ready to be lead on. itll suck. majorly.
and he knows that. i told him last night. not to be playing games with me. i would be pissed.
i kinda shrunk my major datin potintail down to him. idk why. i just feel so much better around him. hes kinda like rob and some other people put together. hes fun. he makes me smile. he doesnt just SIT
oh hell no. lol
work is gay.
i know. just started back.lennys an ass. im afraid im going to tell him that. ''the voices in my head tell me to kill you''. thats what he gets for calling me crazy and asking how the voices are.
yea, im pissed off with him. i have to work with him tonight. and botts. and ppl are going to come see me. STOKED.
i think the annoying dude is working on the line today. im gonna be pissed if he is. i know tony is. god no.
so anyhows, what to sayyyyyyyyyyy
pirate play was gay.
field trip coming up. i need new music
im not ready to hurt anyone, though i am. stuff happens. i didnt mean to this time. sucks.
im pretty much ok for now. aubreys going with rob to prom
i think im going to get my shoes from prommmm todaay.
amazing. yes. yay
wanna see tony.
jake called last night
boys are gay, yet amazing
saw tara at work
and tom lmao
this is just drawn out so im going to go take a shower.
well first of all, it is too early for me to be awake for the day i had yesterday
sencond of all, my day yesterday, was the most up and down thing ever
for thoses that remember, my friend andrew, who graduated last year, that i dated, i talked to him again, and hung out with him(shev, dont go tellin mom...)(ill tel them eventually....). and his new girlfriend. not the scene i wanted to be a part of...
i finally got to met my friend tony, the one from mym mypace. friend of a friend. kinda akwarard. i suppose.
aubrey broke up with steven. stractch that, i did it. i sent him the text message. she didn t know how to word it.
i start back at panera, monday. DONT ASK
i hate being sick, i think im getting worse, i should just carry a thing of dayquill with me. h.h.
and the dating scene is being such a pain in the ass, i cant stand it. and no, im not over richard. that would make things less complicated. wouldnt want to do that now would we.
spring break started amazing.
i just hope it stays there.
im going to lay down again. and take my meds
then call tony, whos in town ^.^' yay, much. no sarcasm.
'im on fire and now i think im ready to bust a move'' mwahahah, ill get happier once i wake up
i guess livejournal dseves a real update and not my hyper thing
maybe itll help, im not sure
but lets try
anyhows, this spring has been the best for me. i kinda found myself again. kind a like my trip to CA(oh i must talk about that!)
anyhows, ive been out, hanging out in the sun, park being outside recharging myself. its been so nice these last few weeks have been, anything but pleasant. yearbook owned my soul this last week. i was out of all my classes to try to finish it. got it done. what can i say? im that skilled. jk.
atleast the books will come back on time. :) sweet deal. i must say so myself. so anyhows
what else can i say?
my tri to cali! it was my family all out there. we had so much fun skiing and such. it ws nice to just be around ppl i know cared for me and want to see me happy. heped alot. but as soon as i got home, it went all to hell, but then richard left, and i was ok.
but then...hahaha! i met jake. opps. lol
stevens friend(richard brother) oh jesus. bad idea from the beginning. anyhows, i met him, and talked to him, and richard was sick so he was hardly there, and i was stoked and happy. then he found out, and it went all to hell. oh jesus. but richard and i, i think, have worked tings out
and personally, im liking tis single card. its making me(dare i say it)strong, dependant, and happy.
and i get to see lots of ppl, instead of one person. how fun. i mean i have seen 7 people in the last 2 days.
ahh, i guess im doing a better update.
what else is there?
school----its stupid. i think though my college stuff is coming together. yea.
idk im just feeling better over all. im not sure exactly why. im sure its a combination of all of it. my mood swings are less, im happier all the time, i sleep more. dont randomly cry(hated having the broken heart). its sad, my parents even noticed and said i had a broken heart. just have to get over someone who was your life for a year and a half. i kno it doesnt seem alot but the last 9 months, we jsut...comsumed eachother. i think we got sick of eachother. lol to be honest. but w/e
i guess well see what happens now. im not making promises, i think im going to prom by myself. (very nice?)
anyhows, i guess i should go.
time to get aubrey up. :)
its been awhile
and theres a lot to catch up
numero uno-YEARBOOK IS DONE!!!! mwhahahaahahahaha. kailey-1 yearbook-0
numero dos-no more richard? dare i say it. :) hes still my friend, and thats just dandy. just no more cryin at night. very nice.
i did. mwhahahaha
spring break is in full affect.
ive been off tanning and the like. ahhh so nice
schools going to suck going back. omg i have my ap exam what a pain that will be. lord only knows.
but ive been better
been going to see someone to talk to. helps alot.
kinda worked everything out. stopped blaming myself for all the bad. took in all the good. counted my blessings that sort of stuff.
so no new boys to report. besides jacob. but hes yea.
hope everyone happy with this all
ill get into the deatils when i get home tonight but i am off(again!)
so how have a i been?
ive been different
ive been happier. like richard said some bad shit to me lately, and it got me down. but i talked to my mom majorly and she helped
and i just relized i had to be for us to work
so i guess i cant pretend to be some quiet, shy,sensitive person to impression someone(me. quiet! ha! right...)
ariels making me update. after i struggled to remember my password. arg
whats new? i take the bloody SATs saturday
im having a bday thing the 3rd for sur e now.
im gdoing good in school
lately my family life has been insane between my mom and brother. ahhh
life is ok?????????
and well, what do i have to say besides im hasppy though i should be upset. and that im ok though i should be mad.
such is life.
So, life has been off.
Way off. Its still hard adjusting to the fact my sisters wont always be home for the holidays
and that distance makes people grow apart.
Lately tings have been hard because ive been under alot of pressure and self doubt. who knew i could be so distructive to myself and others close to me. such is life, i suppose
but im getting out of it. im starting to be more content with what i have. i think i just am going through a mild depression, lasting 3 months.
so heres my cure, im going back to panera at the end of the month. huh. wonderful. i really did enjoy working there. and now things seem better, and i will not be opning at all.
i havebeen debating about asking my parents to take me to see someone. about how i feel. i think it would help to know what im going through. i just cant. idk anymore. drama just makes it all the worse and now that richard isnt with me, im heartbroken and depressed, such a combination.
but well, ill get by. i always do.
what else can i say? its all pretty pointless. soccer isnt fun.
but well, it is satellite. hehe.
miami was great, besides the cold.
my birthday is in exactly one month. i better be getting so f-ing ballons this year. last year was a let down. :)
but well, anything else? no. i shall now return to my ipod and suduko book, and be happy.
life is good now
i have to be postive
because it is goin good
besides yearbook of course.
yea. boy thats a fun class....-rolls eyes-
i hate them
with a passion
these past 2 or 3 days have just sucked
im stressin about soccer, yearbook, greades, trying not to have relationship problems.
then the worse thing happened last night.
i realized richard and i were basicly done
that i was going to have to quit work
that i have to accept yearbook for what it is
that i would have topush harder in soccer
that everything was going to change
and it breaks my heart
because i love richard
and ive been through hell and back with him
why now? when i need him the most?
why cant i just make it work?
i feel like im just talking to myself.
Well, lets see here
I have a car.
i ccant drive the car.......
i work this weekend....at like 5-10AM
i took off sunday for HHN
Watch, they will call me if the persons late, and ask me to come in and I will hang up on them.
theyve dont it before.
Works kinda stupid
but this weekend, my sisters coming home. both.
for the shower. yay! i get to see my sisters puppy. :)
RIchard and i are doing just fine. weve been fighting but thats cuz were both sick. its so not fun.
i wanna sleep in.......ugh. 2 more day!
then i can sleep in till only like 11. becuase rob wants to go into work. wtf. no.
but i do want to go to youth.
at like 6
blah maybe i can get richard to go. scratch that.
well, i must go. schools waiting and im avioding it.